Productivity pressure and other mindset traps!

What is your biggest reason for putting off self-care?

Self-care being anything that balances out stress or hardship by allowing you to prioritize your health and well-being (physically, emotionally, energetically, spiritually, etc).

Is it not enough time?

In which case, can you be more specific? What is taking up your that time that is more productive than self care? Remember, self-care doesn’t need to happen all day every day. But if you feel overwhelmed, off balance, stressed or fatigued, you need to assess how much self-care (and what kinds of self care) is going to bring you back to equilibrium and health.

My mindset trap tends to be what I think of as Productivity Pressure. I had a habit of pushing aside self-care because I didn’t view it as productive. (I say “had” because I am actively focused on changing my perspective around this issue)

So here is where I needed to pause and ask myself a couple of questions…

1.       “What does productivity mean to me?”

2.       “Why is productivity more important to me then caring for my well-being?”

3.       “How can I shift my perspective to find balance between work and rest, productivity and self-care?”

Whatever your typical reason for not prioritizing your own health and happiness is, I invite you to question it. The answer may go a lot deeper than you might think.

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Momentary backstory: (It comes full circle, I promise!)

My older brother married the one true love of his life on Saturday and the whole weekend was EXTREMELY emotional for me. I was so happy for him and for his new wife and between Friday night and Saturday I cried a LOT of happy tears! Listening to the ceremony, the vows they made to each other, and the speeches and toasts about love that followed, really made me reflect on the love in my own life and how I am treating and respecting, and most of all receiving, that love.

What got to me most was the way they looked at each other. Each glance held excitement and pride, joy and relief, knowing and understanding, devotion and respect, and so many promises. I thought for a brief moment, I wish my husband looked at me like that and in the next moment, I knew… my husband DOES look at me like that, I just don’t let myself see it or bask in it in the same way that these beautiful newlyweds were basking in it.

As always, the question was “WHY?”.

The word that came to my mind first and stuck into my heart the most was PRIDE. I was not allowing myself to see the pride in my husband’s gaze because I wasn’t looking at myself with pride. That realization broke me open enough that I was able to study myself long and hard (and most of Sunday was devoted to me doing just that… and then going to bed at 7:30 to recover)

Somewhere inside, even after all the years of dedicated self-growth and healing work, I still believed that I hadn’t earned the right to be honored or to be looked at with pride. I still felt that I needed to work harder and longer, that I needed to earn more money or pile on more accomplishments; I needed to be MORE PRODUCTIVE to be proud of myself or to be deserving of anyone else’s pride.

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I put off self-care a lot of the time, because I pressured myself to be productive so that I could EARN LOVE from myself and others.

There is a difference between the things we KNOW to be true in our minds and the things that we FEEL to be true in our hearts and bodies.

I know on an intellectual level that I am a being made of love and that I am inherently deserving of love. Sometimes, I feel this truth in my body and when I do I feel wholly and fully myself, completely deserving of love and pride and respect. I know what this feels like and try to go back to that feeling and refocus myself into this truth as often as I can.

When I am putting this productivity pressure on myself to the extent that it is overwhelming my need for self-care, I know that older limiting thought patterns are taking over. Thought habits that are not based in love or in the highest truth of who I am.

I think that looking into WHY we put off our self-care, can give us a deeper look into what we believe about ourselves. When we take the time to ask questions and identify our limiting beliefs around self-care, we can work on shifting our perspective much more quickly, thereby saving ourselves from burnout, overwhelm and other forms of suffering.

Personally, I had to realize that, for me, the word “Productivity” was synonymous to “Earning Love” and that I when I am prioritizing the energy of “Productively Earning Love”, I am viewing my reality through the lens of the limiting belief that I am not inherently worthy of love. So, I need to shift that perspective and change my definition of productivity to something more healthy and balanced.

I am going to try defining Productivity as “actively sharing my love with others” and Self-Care as “Actively sharing love with myself”. Self-care is what allows me to be productive, because it allows me to fill my own cup so that I can share my gifts with others. This, to me, feels much more healthy and balanced.

Sometimes, it takes a wedding, or a big emotional upheaval or a time of being extremely off balance, to make us realize that something isn’t right and that something needs to change. When we get into the habit of questioning ourselves and the way we react to these times, we can shift our perspectives and step into the next day with much more balance and clarity and determination and pride.


I hope you take some self-care time to ask these big questions of yourself and get to know yourself at the subconscious level of limiting belief.

Productively sending my love to you!


Ana

How To Walk Away, without leaving your past behind.

This is the time of year when we make a lot of promises and vows to ourselves that we do not (or cannot) keep. We have an entire lifetime of past mistakes made out of ignorance or when we simply forget the fullness of love that we truly are. We create suffering and pain for ourselves and then learn and grow and create new desires from that pain. We hold on to beliefs and old fears and emotions that no longer serve us, but how do we let go of the weight and walk away from our past suffering, without leaving behind the facets of ourselves that made us who we are today?

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We are many faceted beings and our “Self” has many parts. We are in a constant state of evolution, with new facets of ourselves constantly being created with every new desire and every lesson learned.  We harbor past selves, future selves, the parts of our current self that feel connected to love and the parts that feel separate and lonely.

When a part of us begins to believe that we are the creator of our own reality, it is easy for that facet to want to just break free and continue the journey towards enlightenment without all the other, heavy, shadowed parts of us. We want to create instant manifestation, we want instant change and we want nothing more than to cut away all the parts of us that are holding us back. We are told to just let go of our past, to put down the heavy weight and walk unencumbered into the sunrise.

Honestly, I am guilty of wanting instant change and faster growth, but lately this notion has felt bittersweet to me. The idea is appealing, and I feel like I “should” want to be free of my past, but at the same time it feels like a betrayal and I wonder if there is another way. A way that all of me, all the parts, all the facets could walk into the sunrise together as one whole being.

I know one thing for sure…

Whenever I discover a “should” in my life, there is always a new perspective nearby.

So right now, I am tuning in, listening and writing down what comes up, in an attempt to shift and clarify my perspective on letting go of the past, just a little bit. I want to fine tune this notion of letting go just enough that I can clear away the “should”.

I also know that to find a new perspective, I need to ask some new questions. So my questions are…

What if all the past versions of myself were all worthy of love?

This includes all the shadowed facets, all the “selves” that I feel ashamed of, afraid of, guilty and blameful about.  What if these past selves are just trapped in darkness and shackled by ignorance? What if there were a way to free all these facets and become one, bright, weightless whole?

This is where I believe that self-forgiveness comes in. I believe that…

“Self-forgiveness is a tool we can use to counteract the blame that arises within us when we begin to truly believe that reality does not happen to us, but rather that we are responsible for creating it.”

It is the tool that we can use to set our whole self free of the heavy weight of past mistakes and part beliefs and to prevent mistakes made in the future from adding to that weight as time passes by.

When a child makes a mistake in ignorance, is it right or just to hold that mistake against them forever? Of course not! What would harboring all that blame accomplish? Nothing, it would simply be a weight in our hearts, holding us back and limiting our growth.

All the heartbreak and pain and suffering I allowed myself to endure, all the people I hurt, all the mistakes I made, were made in ignorance or in forgetfulness or because my beliefs were based in fear and not in love.

There is no need to blame myself for the pain of my past and there is no need to blame other people (because no one can create MY reality). Blame, shame, hatred, and loneliness are all based in fear and are what create the darkness and weight of my past. Holding onto these perceptions of the past is what weighs me down and holds me back. Every facet of myself is equally worthy of love and light and I believe that this is equally true for you!

Forgiving ourselves for the reality that we created in the past and for the mistakes we will make in the future is how we release the weight without cutting away our past selves.

I want to think about loving and healing my past and bringing it with me as evidence of the lessons I have learned and as documentation of my journey towards becoming more myself.

There are many times, in meditation, where I have gone back and held my past selves as they screamed and cried, just giving them love and repeating to them softly “I love you, I accept you, I forgive you, you are not wrong!” and I may have to do that many more times before they are able to stand up off the floor and accept that love.

But I am willing to do that work, because I do not want to leave behind all the beautiful past versions of myself, I just want to set them free and give them love and forgive them. I also realized, that I can ask other people for forgiveness (and I have) and I can ask the universe, or god(dess) or source for forgiveness (and I have), but that does not change the fact that I still need to forgive myself before I can move on with the freedom I desire.

I hope that this perspective gave you something to think about or at least inspired you to revisit your self-love and self-forgiveness practice. I hope that, if you have never tried self-forgiveness, that you are able to find ways of practicing that work for you and feel right and powerful to you.

For me, when I feel an old weight from the past trying to limit my present, I sit with the feelings as they come up with acceptance and love and forgiveness. Then, when I have the time, I meditate and visualize the past version of myself that most represents that old weight that came up most recently and I have an interaction during which I extend my acceptance and forgiveness and ask for that in return. I have found this to be a very humbling exercise and it tends to make me realize the extent to which I have been harboring resentment towards myself as well as irrational levels of pain caused by old beliefs I didn’t know I had.

I am sure that there are many, many other ways to practice self-forgiveness and I would love to hear about your practices in the comments below.

 

Sending my love to you as always,

 

Ana

 

Negative self talk getting you down? Here's a quick tool.

Hi Loves,

Merry almost Christmas and Happy Holidays.

I had a serious case of negative self talk come up for me the other day and I used this tool to allow this negativity to pass so I could move on with my day.

Negative self talk was a plague that I lived with for most of my life and I used to manage it by shoving it all down and locking it up inside of me. I was depressed and constantly sick as well.

This time though, I listened to that negative self and replied to each statement with loving acceptance and forgiveness. It seriously felt like cool balm being placed on a burn. This is the power of self love and I wanted to share this tool with you.

I love you all,

ana


What do you REALLY want?

This video is all about getting into the habit of questioning yourself until you get to the root of the issue, thought, or feeling.

When we get emotional about something, or are replaying thoughts over and over again in our minds, or are experiencing something intense in our bodies, it is important to move past the superficial explanations and continue to ask yourself “Is that all, or is there more to that story?”. You might be surprised and amazed by what begins to surface.

This process is about is about prioritizing your self growth in your schedule as well. Taking the time to dig deeper and feel more fully and really value the information that you are receiving.

Let's get to the bottom of those emotions and find out what is REALLY going on and what you really want. Get beyond the superficial answers!

Enjoy! If you found value in this content, don’t forget to comment, like or share with friends if that feels right to you.

Sending love as always,


Ana

Setting Boundaries that Stick:

Setting Boundaries that Stick:

Time to commit to putting your needs first by setting and sticking to some basic personal boundaries. Let’s dive a little deeper into who you want to be and how you want to feel and what boundaries you need to put in place to accomplish those goals!

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