When we are in a partnership with another person, facing these trials has another added element of complexity. Not only do we need to walk through the fire and survive, we need to make sure that the fire doesn’t destroy our relationship. So why do some couples come out stronger after going through these trials and some relationships just burn to ashes and fall apart?Read More
Take a moment now to close your eyes and breathe deeply three times. Allow tension to ease and calm serenity to flood your body. Smile, and be here now.
When we breathe and come fully into the present moment, we can see our internal and external environment more objectively. We step into the space of being able to ask meaningful questions and therefore receive meaningful answers.
Breathing into the present moment allows us to disengage from the Ego’s tendency towards judgement long enough to accept what is. Acceptance of what is, soothes us enough to get curious. Curiosity temporarily cures judgement, so that we can stop asking the universe “Why me?” and start asking “What does this situation have to teach me?”.
When we ask, an answer is always given, but that answer is not necessarily the answer we were hoping for and it doesn’t necessarily happen on our timeline, and it doesn’t even always happen with words.
If a verbal answer does come into the quiet stillness, it often comes in your voice (not some deep booming voice of GOD). This makes guidance easy to dismiss as just another thought, especially if it doesn’t seem logical or if it challenges you to change your perspective.
How do you know that you didn’t just imagine it, that it isn’t your Ego just making stuff up? Besides just Knowing, you can tell because not only will it be the exact answer to your question but upon further investigation an answer from the Universe will always be based in love and unity, and an Egoic answer will usually be based in fear or doubt or separateness.
For the last few weeks, I have asked the Universe “What is it that still needs to click into place when it comes to my purpose and what I am meant to do and share with the world? What would you have me do? What do I need to do, I feel so lost?” and for weeks, I didn’t get an answer. I got guidance on a lot of other things, but no clarity of purpose.
Today, I asked when I felt at peace, when I was calmly in my heart, and I received an answer immediately. It was my voice, but gentler and slightly sweeter than I normally talk to myself.
“Can you be happy not knowing?”
To me this was answer enough.
Being in the space between, in the Gap, is a pattern for me. Changing cities or jobs or lovers was a common theme in my life and I am currently in a Gap where I am trying to establish a new career that will allow me to share my love with others and support others in finding themselves and their deep inner love.
This Gap time is another chance to learn that happiness and purpose and fulfilment is not something to be found externally but is rather something that I must cultivate in my awareness no matter what is going on in my environment.
When I can be happy without knowing, the knowing will come.
So, I deeply encourage you to take time to breathe in any way that feels intentional and powerful to you. Breathe and step back from the Ego identity into the Observer state and start asking questions. Big questions, small questions, fun questions, scary questions, just ask and then know that they will be answered in divine timing and through your path of least resistance.
Cultivate joy and peace in your heart in the present moment and notice that when you ask from that place of no resistance, how the answer is right there for you to hear or see or sense.
Sending my love to you as always!
Here is the video (it is a little rambling, so I tried editing it down for you, not sure if it worked). I am back to work at the farm and so trying to fit in my regular blogs and videos, so I apologize for the tiredness and the farm attire =)
Every time we BREATHE with intention and shift our focus from the Ego's busy workings to the calm and quiet of the Observer state, new doors open to us. Doors of opportunity, of beauty, of joy, of grace appear out of no where because we have the power of presence on our side.
When we breathe and pause in the present moment to connect to the Observer part of our consciousness, we step into a time that is not a time and a place that is not a place.
In the present, we are able to bridge the gap between the Ego and our Higher Selves and benefit from the insight and information of both.
New doors appear because our Higher Selves shed light on them and we are far enough removed from Ego's obsession with the past and future that we can see these doors as they open invitingly in the now.
All we have to do is breathe, focus on what we feel now, ask our Higher Selves for a little light and guidance and eagerly await the answer. Sometimes the answer is very quiet and sometimes it doesn’t come the instant you ask.
The guidance we receive from our Higher Selves can come in an infinite number of ways. It can come through a conversations we happen to overhear between two strangers, or a blog we are reading, a video we are watching, or a billboard that we drive by. It doesn’t have to come in full sentences either, a single word or object or experience can be a key that clicks into place and jump starts your brain’s amazing process of making connections between pieces of information you already possess and drawing the exact conclusions you need.
I like to think about being present like being in a classroom.
Let’s say you are in a class trying to learn a foreign language. There’s a lot depending on you learning this language and you sit down and immediately start thinking about all the times you tried and failed to learn languages before and projecting about all the things that might happen if you can’t learn it this time and before you know it the class is over and you didn’t even realize it had started.
The next day you go into the class you sit down and start to breathe, slow and deep. You quiet your Ego mind just enough that you can see and hear your teacher. You are still aware of your thoughts but you have stepped far enough back from them that you can observe them clearly and choose to focus on only the thoughts that help you learn. Being in this Observer state also gives you full access to all the knowledge of your teacher, who is there to give you all the information you need, as well as, all the resources in the room (including the other students in the room that starting walking through the door as soon as you decided to learn).
Sometimes, the only information your Higher Self gives you is that you need to wait or you need to continue to practice being the Observer and connecting to love and that the information you are seeking will come in perfect timing. This can be a little frustrating, but that is where the power of faith comes into play, which is the topic of a different post.
Sending all my love to you!
This is the story of how and why I left my career as an Aerial Circus Arts teacher “Because my intuition told me to!” and how it challenged me and expanded me and put my on a path that is even more aligned with my soul’s purpose!Read More
By this time, I think we can all acknowledge that morning routines are not just a passing phase, they are here to stay. There are a million videos and articles out there outlining the specific morning routines or the rich, famous and “successful”. This is an awesome resource, but your morning routine should be YOURS! Unique to you, your goals, needs, desires and schedule.
This blog gives you the 5 questions you need to ask yourself in order to create a morning routine that truly suits you. Remember that when brainstorming action steps or habits that you want to commit to, it is best to be in a good mood. Do this exercise when you are feeling awesome so that the ideas that come out of your brain will naturally be geared towards creating more awesome in your life!
1. Why A Morning Routine?
What are you hoping that a morning routine will do for you? Are you looking for extra energy, clarity, motivation, serenity? Use this first question to get really specific about your WHY and make that why very personal to you. If you can, use just 1 or 2 words that strike to the core of your WHY.
2. What Feelings Do You Want To Create?
Feeling great helps you get things done. It helps you stay motivated and satisfied and helps you dust yourself off and jump back up when you fall down. You have control over the way that you feel! You can also cultivate the feelings you want with habits and rituals that remind you of how you want to feel.
Start by free writing a list of feelings that you value. You can write as many as you would like.
Now narrow it down to your top 3!
Why just 3, you ask?
Morning routines are support routines and are typically limited to … the morning. We do need to leave time for all the other activities that work specifically towards our goals and so focus, and specificity are key. Don’t worry about not focusing on every amazing feeling on your list, typically the top 3 amazing feelings that you choose will easily lead you towards all those other good feelings as you move through your day.
3. What Actions Support Your WHYs & Your Desired Feelings?
These actions need to be things that feel exciting for you to do. There are so many resources out there examining the exact morning routine of almost every super successful person out there, and those are great for ideas, but your AM actions need to fill YOUR cup. If you aren’t excited about them, you won’t do them and then there will be no morning routine.
Try to limit yourself to less than 5 actions. You can include some of your typical “get ready” steps if they support your goals , if not, think about your morning routine as something done in addition to your normal routine. The 5 actions can be one for each of your goals (Whys and Feelings) or each action can support a combination of goals.
4. How much time do you have in the morning?
(This might be a three-part question…)
What time do you want to wake up?
Let’s say that you need to be at work at 8am, and need to leave the house by 7:30am, you might also refuse to wake up before 5:30am (understandable). Without extra morning routine things, your typical get ready time takes 45 min. This leaves you 1hr and 15 min for your morning routine, BUT you also hate feeling rushed so we will round down to 1hr.
How can you schedule your actions to fit your time frame?
Take a look at your actions. How can you fit them into that 1 hr time slot and how much time does each task actually need?
Maybe that the 30 min meditation you wanted to put in there needs to be 15 min, or perhaps you only delegate 5 minutes for journaling, etc.
What time do you need to go to bed to get the sleep you need?
You know yourself by now. Be honest! How much sleep to you need to feel amazing in the morning? A morning routine that begins with you feeling like a zombie and measuring the droopiness of the bags under your eyes with a ruler, is not going to be all that helpful to you.
5. What Can Be Done The Night Before?
The best morning routines start with a great nighttime routine. Adapt these questions to create a nighttime routine that supports you getting an amazing sleep and maybe helps you spread out some of those action steps.
This could look like no screen time ½hr before bed or spending 10 minutes writing out the next days to do list, or prepping your meals for the next day, etc.
For me, my morning routine (ideally) looks like this
At night, I will write out my To Do list for the next day. Then I try to visualize my big goals as I fall asleep. Ideally, I would reduce my screen time before bed, but…. that is a habit that I’m working on. Since I work from home right now, I also have a lunchtime routine of making lunch, watching a quick motivational or educational video while I eat and then I try to head outside for a walk with the dogs (unless it is super-storming outside like it is today)
Try it out and let me know what you think? What is your favorite part of your morning routine? Let me know in the comments below, I love learning about what other people do to stay motivated, happy and on task!
Love you all,
Energy is CRAZY right now. We are more sensitive than ever to our emotions. We set big goals for this year and for many of us, we are hitting the first roadblocks to those goals. So how do we tap into our inner strength so that we can keep going and not let the feelings of disappointment or worry dis-empower us?
Here are 5 tips for tapping into that inner strength…
1. Go back to your why.
Why did you set the goal in the first place? Go back to your journal entries or the excited conversations you had at the start of the year. Write out your WHY again, focus on how that WHY feels in your body.
2. Solar Plexus Visualization:
Sometimes we lose sight of our why and we become disheartened because we are simply not believing in ourselves at that moment in time. Maybe something happened to throw you off course and your mind is trying to list out all the reasons why you are destined to fail. The solar plexus is home to our personal power, it is where that sunlight of self-belief is stored.
Close your eyes and place your hands right below your sternum, just where your ribcage starts to open up and separate. Breathe in deeply, allowing your belly and check to expand, your shoulders to rise and fall and that tingly feeling to come all the way up to the top of your head, before you exhale slowly. Imagine that there is a tiny seed of light in your solar plexus and with every inhale that seed gets a little brighter and with every exhale that seed expands. Keep this up until your solar plexus is a bright sun in the center of your body. Allow yourself to test out some affirmations and see which words make your core sun brighter and which words don’t really resonate.
“I believe in myself” “I am powerful” “I am capable” “I can do this”
“I refuse to give up” “I am strong and brave” “I am willing to try again”
Feel free to use some time afterwards to journal or to find and focus on other things that feel good. Keep searching for the evidence of good things in your life.
3. Get outside for 10 minutes and brainstorm your next right action:
Getting outside and changing your environment interrupts whatever current state of moping you are in (especially if it is a little brisk out there). Give yourself 10 minutes to come up with 5 small action steps you can take over the next few days to work towards your goal. Keep these things small and manageable. Now is not the time to focus on the big end game, this is part of being accepting of your current state and working from where you are at.
Some examples may be, setting out your workout clothes for the next morning or creating a healthy grocery list and planning out dinner that night. Maybe it is sending one email a day to potential clients or employers for the next 5 days and KNOW who you are going to send them to. These small tasks should take less than 15 minutes to complete.
What can you do to feel strong and have fun?
Put on “Eye of the tiger” or “We are the champions” or whatever slightly corny and motivational music makes you laugh.
Listen to an inspirational “kick in the butt” video on Youtube. Mel Robbins , Tony Robbins, Elizabeth Gilbert, Glennon Doyle, and Marie Forleo are some of my favorites for when I’m feeling down in the dumps, but there are many others.
Go pick out an awesome outfit in your closet that makes you feel amazing and go walk around town and get a cup of coffee and be open to inspiration in your environment.
5. Tap into the FEELING and Surrender Control of the How:
No, this does not mean stop all action or stop caring about it. But sometimes it can be helpful to change your focus towards the general. I like to joke with my sister about how “building her empire” is going. She is an amazing coach and inspirational speaker (find her at www.chooseyourevolution.blog) and I just know she is going to take the world by storm in the near future.
In this case though, instead of getting overwhelmed by the infinite number of details involved in answering the question, “How can I build my empire in three weeks?” maybe change the questions to “What does building my empire feel like? What can I do that will make me feel like that right now?”. Letting go of control of every single unforeseeable detail and instead putting yourself in a place where you can receive inspiration is a helpful move for tapping into your power.
Sending my love to you as always,
P.S. Make sure to comment, question and share. Let me know how you find your inner strength when times get a little tough.
What is your biggest reason for putting off self-care?
Self-care being anything that balances out stress or hardship by allowing you to prioritize your health and well-being (physically, emotionally, energetically, spiritually, etc).
Is it not enough time?
In which case, can you be more specific? What is taking up your that time that is more productive than self care? Remember, self-care doesn’t need to happen all day every day. But if you feel overwhelmed, off balance, stressed or fatigued, you need to assess how much self-care (and what kinds of self care) is going to bring you back to equilibrium and health.
My mindset trap tends to be what I think of as Productivity Pressure. I had a habit of pushing aside self-care because I didn’t view it as productive. (I say “had” because I am actively focused on changing my perspective around this issue)
So here is where I needed to pause and ask myself a couple of questions…
1. “What does productivity mean to me?”
2. “Why is productivity more important to me then caring for my well-being?”
3. “How can I shift my perspective to find balance between work and rest, productivity and self-care?”
Whatever your typical reason for not prioritizing your own health and happiness is, I invite you to question it. The answer may go a lot deeper than you might think.
Momentary backstory: (It comes full circle, I promise!)
My older brother married the one true love of his life on Saturday and the whole weekend was EXTREMELY emotional for me. I was so happy for him and for his new wife and between Friday night and Saturday I cried a LOT of happy tears! Listening to the ceremony, the vows they made to each other, and the speeches and toasts about love that followed, really made me reflect on the love in my own life and how I am treating and respecting, and most of all receiving, that love.
What got to me most was the way they looked at each other. Each glance held excitement and pride, joy and relief, knowing and understanding, devotion and respect, and so many promises. I thought for a brief moment, I wish my husband looked at me like that and in the next moment, I knew… my husband DOES look at me like that, I just don’t let myself see it or bask in it in the same way that these beautiful newlyweds were basking in it.
As always, the question was “WHY?”.
The word that came to my mind first and stuck into my heart the most was PRIDE. I was not allowing myself to see the pride in my husband’s gaze because I wasn’t looking at myself with pride. That realization broke me open enough that I was able to study myself long and hard (and most of Sunday was devoted to me doing just that… and then going to bed at 7:30 to recover)
Somewhere inside, even after all the years of dedicated self-growth and healing work, I still believed that I hadn’t earned the right to be honored or to be looked at with pride. I still felt that I needed to work harder and longer, that I needed to earn more money or pile on more accomplishments; I needed to be MORE PRODUCTIVE to be proud of myself or to be deserving of anyone else’s pride.
I put off self-care a lot of the time, because I pressured myself to be productive so that I could EARN LOVE from myself and others.
There is a difference between the things we KNOW to be true in our minds and the things that we FEEL to be true in our hearts and bodies.
I know on an intellectual level that I am a being made of love and that I am inherently deserving of love. Sometimes, I feel this truth in my body and when I do I feel wholly and fully myself, completely deserving of love and pride and respect. I know what this feels like and try to go back to that feeling and refocus myself into this truth as often as I can.
When I am putting this productivity pressure on myself to the extent that it is overwhelming my need for self-care, I know that older limiting thought patterns are taking over. Thought habits that are not based in love or in the highest truth of who I am.
I think that looking into WHY we put off our self-care, can give us a deeper look into what we believe about ourselves. When we take the time to ask questions and identify our limiting beliefs around self-care, we can work on shifting our perspective much more quickly, thereby saving ourselves from burnout, overwhelm and other forms of suffering.
Personally, I had to realize that, for me, the word “Productivity” was synonymous to “Earning Love” and that I when I am prioritizing the energy of “Productively Earning Love”, I am viewing my reality through the lens of the limiting belief that I am not inherently worthy of love. So, I need to shift that perspective and change my definition of productivity to something more healthy and balanced.
I am going to try defining Productivity as “actively sharing my love with others” and Self-Care as “Actively sharing love with myself”. Self-care is what allows me to be productive, because it allows me to fill my own cup so that I can share my gifts with others. This, to me, feels much more healthy and balanced.
Sometimes, it takes a wedding, or a big emotional upheaval or a time of being extremely off balance, to make us realize that something isn’t right and that something needs to change. When we get into the habit of questioning ourselves and the way we react to these times, we can shift our perspectives and step into the next day with much more balance and clarity and determination and pride.
I hope you take some self-care time to ask these big questions of yourself and get to know yourself at the subconscious level of limiting belief.
Productively sending my love to you!
On Monday we talked about how to use your brain to list out your 2019 goals and then how to use your heart (emotions) and your physical body (sensations) to cross-reference those goals and to check to see if they are in alignment with love and your highest good.
When I was speaking on this topic, I had this question pop up in my head and I wanted to spend some time today addressing it. The question was,
“If I’m supposed to feel good to align with my higher self but I also need to feel uncomfortable in order to grow, how do I navigate that? How do I navigate between aligning with good feelings and allowing myself to get uncomfortable enough to grow?”
When we set a goal for growth that is for our highest good, and we practice saying that goal out loud and we notice how good it feels in our bodies, we create a road-map for ourselves that helps us get back to that feeling and to our goal. When you spend time saying that goal out loud and you often imagine what it will feel like to accomplish that goal and describe in detail how that feels in your body and you write it down, you create a new baseline for how you normally feel.
That new baseline for how you feel in your body (or even how you know you want to feel in your body) is going to give you a heightened sensitivity to the changes in your body, emotions and thoughts. But you are still going to respond automatically from the subconscious to triggers in your environment.
Don’t you worry about not feeling uncomfortable enough, my friend! As you move through your day to day life, working towards your goal, you are going to be challenged and those challenges are going to be uncomfortable. There are STILL going to be days when you get really down, or feel lonely, or stressed, or frustrated or doubtful. But you are going to notice those changes coming on more quickly and are going to be able to step back into the role of the questioner or observer more quickly as well, because you have practiced observing yourself.
You have also practiced allowing yourself the space for feel into that discomfort on a physical, emotional and mental level. Being in your body with the discomfort and allowing the energy to flow is going to allow that subconscious belief to be uncovered and recognized and identified. Now you get to decide what you are going to do about it and use the body baseline and cross-referencing technique to check and see how aligned your decision is.
Remember that the discomfort we feel occurs when we are looking through our life in that moment, through the lens of a belief that is not serving us and is not in alignment with our goals or highest good.
When we allow ourselves to feel into that discomfort and be in our bodies with our discomfort, that belief surfaces and it becomes clear enough that we can decide how to respond in a loving and aligned way. There does not need to be a forcing or a battle with ourselves. We do not need to get lost in judgment about ourselves.
But what happens when we do start to get a little lost? What can we do to remind ourselves about what we really want?
Okay, so I am not a huge fan of affirmations used for the sake of saying affirmations (especially if they are just said on a thought level and never felt), but I think that they can be applied usefully in this case. The key is to create the affirmation when you are inside of that feeling of alignment.
When you are feeling good. When you are working towards your goal or visualizing your goal and you are in that physical space, that physical feeling that you now know so well, of your goal and of your alignment, create an affirmation around what you are doing and why. One short sentence only.
This affirmation needs to feel like it is anchoring this feeling inside of you and allowing the feeling to elevate and intensify in your body when you say it out loud; It feels so right and so comforting and so encouraging. This is the statement that you use to remind yourself when you are feeling lost.
Remember that whatever state you are in at the time, whatever belief lens you are looking through is going to affect how you feel when you make this statement, but part of you will always recognize it as truth. If you are feeling totally depressed and lost and in judgement about not achieving your goal and you say this affirmation, it will probably not immediately boost you back into your blissful buzz state of being. But…what it will do is help you set an intention to move back towards. For me, it gives me the strength I need to face what is happening OR just to say, “Today is what it is, but tomorrow I am going to start my day with this intention and focus on feeling it in my body.”
So, use the cross-referencing technique to set aligned goals, but also use it to align your day to day decisions when things get hard. Make that goal-based affirmation when you are fully in alignment and then use it as a reminder and to give you strength when times get tough (and growing into the person you want to become can be tough). Use the description of how your goal feels in your body and practice it as often as you can. Get into your body as often as you can and increase your awareness and sensitivity to what is going on, so you can catch yourself the moment you start move away from your alignment.
Best of luck with all of this my friends. Please always let me know how I can better support you and remember that your first call with me is always free, so we can chat about these tools and how they apply specifically to your life anytime! My goal is to walk this path with you and to support each-other along the way!
Sending my love to you as always,